Dear Diary
by SeraphimK
Summary: Oneshot. Helga writes in her diary about her ever so wonderful day. Lila gets knocked down a couple of notches on the perfection scale.


A/N: This is my first fic, so I'd appreciate it VERY much if you'd review. It would make my day. I start shcool tomorrow, and when I get back from what might possibly be a horrible first day of school, it would cheer me up to read reviews.

This fic was inspired by the book "Dear Dumb Diary" by Jim Benton. One character in the book, Angeline, reminds me very much of Lila.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Hey Arnold! _I would never dream of stealing it from Craig Bartlett.

Dear Diary,

I don't think I've been in this good of a mood since Princess Rhonda Wellington Lloyd accidentally ripped her new, one-of-a-kind Caprini sweater last week. But this is even better. Today, Little Miss Lila was knocked down a couple of notches on the perfection scale. I never thought the day would come. Wonders never cease.

Allow me to fill you in on every glorious detail. Little Miss Perfect flounced into class this morning wearing a new dress. It was so fluffy and frilly that it looked like a big vanilla cupcake, which might explain why just about every guy in the class was drooling. Or maybe it was because she looked even more perfect (if you can imagine) than she does every other day. Her hair wasn't in those pesky little braids for once. She wore it down with little white flowers scattered through it. Honestly, it was sickening. One can only take so much sugary-sweet perfection in one sitting.

Arnold, however, seems to have a sweet tooth. He said to Lila, "You look nice today" (what an understatement) and asked what the occasion was. Mr. Simmons said something to me about respecting school property (I was digging my nails into my desk at the time), so I only caught part of Lila's response. I gathered something about her cousin's wedding. I guess she's the flower girl or something. If you ask me, it's just rude to look so pretty that you outdo the bride.

No one would shut up about how beautiful Lila looked all day. They kept fawning over Miss Perfect, who was "oh-so-flattered" but "ever-so-certain" that she she wasn't worthy of such praise. I could tell she was enjoying the attention, though, and that she found herself more than worthy of everyone's near-worship of her.

She kept twisting her hair around one finger, an annoying habit that we were oblivious to before because she wears braids every day. At first I was thrilled at having found a flaw in Lila, but then I realized that even her hair-twirling was perfect. It made her look even more sweetly innocent. Lila's one flaw completes her perfection.

Ironically, that perfection-completing flaw brought about Lila's long-awaited (by me, anyway) downfall. We were making crafts in art and using some extra-sticky, extra-strong glue to hold them together. Everyone's hands were covered in the sticky substance by the end of class. I noticed Lila being careful not to absent-mindedly twirl her hair around her gluey finger. I guess I should have warned Lila when I saw her begin to wander off into la-la land, that delicate finger of hers inevitably inching closer and closer to her head. But since when do I help Lila?

By the time Lila realized what she was doing, she had twisted one long strand of silky hair all the way around her finger, which was almost touching her scalp. She panicked and began yanking furiously with the hand that the finger belonged to, but to no avail. The glue was stuck to her hair--stuck good. Soon, Lila had struggled so much that her whole right hand was covered in auburn hair. At this point, I was laughing uncontrollably.

Lila was sent to the nurse's office. She came back to class later, in tears, with a large portion of the right side of her head nearly hairless. The nurse had to cut off over a foot of wavy auburn hair, which Lila clutched it in her hand. Don't ask me what she planned on doing with it. Did she think she could glue it back on?

Some were horrified at this, and some were both horrified and amused. I, for one, was elated and amused. I felt somehow victorious.

Get this: I saw Arnold--ARNOLD--actually SMILE when he first saw Lila, and almost LAUGH. He caught himself before he laughed and scolded himself, I'm sure, for finding amusement in someone else's misfortune. But for a moment, he had found amusement at Lila's expense. I couldn't have possibly been happier.

Now Lila only looks like the prettiest girl in the world if you look at her from the left side. She's not nearly as perfect as she used to be. In fact, she isn't even worthy of the title "Little Miss Perfect" anymore. She's been ridiculed and humiliated in front of the whole class. That should teach her. Maybe now she'll think twice before drawing so much attention--more specifically, Arnold's attention--to herself. I suspect she'll be hiding from the spotlight now.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

A/N: Did you like it? I hope so. I think it's crap. I don't think I did a very good job of capturing Helga's voice. When I read this, it just doesn't sound like Helga to me. But maybe I'm just being harsh on this fic because I wrote it, and I hate everything I write. Let me know what you think by reviewing. Give me your honest opinion; I'm already convinced that this is crap, so you can't hurt my feelings. Thanks for reading!


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